SmallTalk

It's the name of a computer language. But I don't know a thing about that language and am not quite interested in carrying a discourse about it either. I'm talking about small talk, like in a party, with, maybe, your new colleagues and their spouses and friends around.

Small talk is trouble. I still haven't quite figured out the protocol. Awkward silence, group of 6, do you say something, or not? Do you begin the story and hope people laugh at the end? What if they don't? They'll just be staring at you trying to figure out why you just wasted their last five minutes on an absolutely meaningless story. "Guess what happened the other day,...", actually changes the context of the entire conversation, so it better lead to something. I've actually seen people stare at each other, completely at loss for words, trying to bring some momentum in the conversation, that I brought to halt, while I embarrassed, find something to sip or munch on, so I don't say anything stupid again. On such occasions, I feel like pronouncing upon entering the group, "Look, I'll just be standing here, dumb, so if you want me to open my mouth, just ask me a direct question, my name is ..., OK?".

I can't quite figure out what's appropriate conversation. The easiest is usually the weather. "So, it's been quite hot the past few days...". Cliched. The experienced ones usually figure it's a desperate attempt, and if that's the best you've got, the nearby pole might make more interesting company for those around you. Do you ask about their personal lives? "Is she your wife?", and I usually feel like continuing "You could have done better, Bro". Sometimes I feel like making some useful conversation, "So, I'm assuming you've got a decent bank balance, what are you doing with your money?". Sometimes I feel like giving people a piece of my mind, "Lady, you've got too much make up on, you look like a witch, do yourself a favor, buy a mask."

Sometimes you're expected to say good stuff, but you just don't feel like saying it. They say, "This is our little baby, Sam, it just turned 11 months. You'll have to come on its first birthday" You say, "Oh, so cute." and "Sure, I will, thanks for inviting me." But inside you say, "For just 11 months, its big, no, its fat, what do you feed it!" and "1st birthday? The kid can't even say a word, what I am I supposed to do, cry along when its hungry or sleepy?"

It gets even more awkward if the people around have been changing their significant others a bit too often. "Oh, so she's you're Girlfriend? It's nice meeting you." But my mind is overflowing with questions. "Weren't you with another lady the last time I saw you at a similar party?", "What happened? Did she kick you out or something?", "Say, lady, this guy is one hell of a player."

I've got to create a system, a process. A set of Qs, potential answers and counter questions. Got to practice pieces that are funny, discard those that aren't. Got to figure the set of rules to determine when to end a certain conversation and start a new one. That should make me a more interesting person, on those occasions when I have no idea why I am present there in the first place.

A B-plan called the Andamans

India's Hawaii, the Andamans. We got to make a 3-day trip to this beautiful place. Started at Pt. Blair.

Day 1: afternoon visit to the cellular jail (Kala Pani). The light & sound show, doesn't have the Disneyland glamor, but it gives an insight into life in prison during the 30 year British-rule period starting 1906. The jails became occupied again in 1942, when the Japanese took control of the island for 3 years. Cells were single occupancy, 4.5m*2.7m in size with thick walls, with the front passage made of thick iron bars, no toilets (maybe buckets) or sinks (or water taps).

Day 2: we went to North Bay. Just a few miles from Pt. Blair. There is a coral reef off the shore. We went snorkeling! The equipment wasn't great, but we had our fun being floated over the corals and the colorful life around it.

Day 3: morning ship to the Havelock island. This is where the b-plan is set for. 3 hours after leaving Pt. Blair, we reached RadhaNagar beach. RadhaNagar is surfing paradise. Tourism hasn't developed to the levels this place deserves. The 2004 tsunami, poor transport arrangements from mainland India or Pt. Blair, high corruption in absence of media might be some causes for its slow development, but the beauty I saw came out straight the Travel channel. Sri Lankan co. Barefoot is facing little competition at Havelock.
GovindNagar beach is another beautiful beach 12 miles away from the first one on the same island. Water flows parallel to the land mass, so surfing isn't possible, but just off-shore, scuba diving is. The video below is from the serene waters of this fine untapped beauty.

Ratan Tata made a 2-day trip a while ago to the Havelock. Something tells me the Tatas are eyeing investment in the area. A local forest department official mentioned crores are flowing in from businessmen in New Delhi erecting resorts on the island, tourism is about to grow real fast.

Andamans (and Nicobar) have a 6-8 lakh population. Many refugees from Bangladesh during the Indo-Pak war of 1971, and recently many from Tamil Nadu in to setup commercial activity. English, Hindi, Tamil, Bengali are some of the languages spoken on the islands. 90% of the islands are green. I saw lots of coconut and banana trees.

If you like water and tourism, now might be the time to plan some investment.

Of Facts and Stats

B-schools publish their own recruitment results each year and it can be quite misleading to the reading public who doesn't have access to inside information. How are those Rs. 1.5cr salaries calculated in the first place, who got it, why and how, what about the rest of the class, where are they placed, what is the criteria for placement... Let's sweep these questions under the rug for the time being, B-schools are in competition with one another and are trying to portray a larger than life image to the outside world.

Understand a few things:

• The sky high salaries are subject to tax, are in cities where cost of living is extremely high and have components which aren't guaranteed but subject to individual/group/company performance or market/economy forces outside the control of the employee and, again, may have components which will only be received once, initially.
• Everyone knows basic statistics in b-school but, they seldom draw a simple salary distribution chart, or quote the mean/median/mode of salaries being received in various currencies.
• Importantly, these new employees won't be receiving any more than anyone already there with an equivalent CV. The new employee's pay structure will be commensurate with what the employer has for that particular start or mid-level. Period. He/she isn't God's gift to employer.
• Recruiters approach B-schools not just for the knowledge imparted to the students, but also because schools have, in their rigorous selection and evaluation procedure, already filtered and sorted potential employees for them. For many recruiters, the quality of the selection is more important that of the faculty and courses taught.
  
• Note that the placement process has a some randomness associated with it, after all 300 odd candidates are matched against the same number positions from 100+ companies. Now, consider how many of these new employees actually stick to their 1st employment after 1 yr, 2 yrs... Is job satisfaction positively correlated with starting salary?
• Remember lots of ordinary small/medium enterprises in this country make multiple times for their owners of what these B-school grads start at, the business owners just perform their business quietly.

Having said that, recruitment is an important part of any B-school, but even if it isn't good enough for you or what you are looking for, do still consider attending, some courses are worth the time and money, for basics in accounting, economics and market laws, forces and behavior.

Swami Ramdev's Camp

March 11th to 14th, I attended Swami Ramdev's camp when it was organized in my hometown. Never before have I gotten up at 3:30am for 4 days in a row to drive out and run to catch a 4'*7' space at 4:15am in a large stadium for morning exercises. Swami Ramdev made me do it.

Turns out fitness wasn't and probably still isn't an important element in my life. I use this body 24/7, have for 28+ years and hopefully will continue to do so for time to come, but my awareness of its parts, their functioning or lack of it, has been relatively limited. The camp made me consider my body more carefully, to understand what's happening to it, what shouldn't happen, and what I should do to fix it.

Every so often, someone comes to our attention who basically seems to 'have it all figured out'. He questions our lifestyle and shows, through his own way of living, what we're capable of. I had heard of Pranayama as some esoteric breathing exercise, but Swamiji extracted 7 out of the 100+ known exercises, added a schedule, packaged everything in simple language, coaxed us into doing it and presented examples of people who's lives have greatly benefited.

Doctors, according to him, are required only during emergencies and not for ailments/issues like diabetes or high cholesterol. He demonstrated (and firmly believes) that the human body is able to cure itself of all such sicknesses, all we have to do is discipline our intake/outflow of air, water and food and routinely exercise (yogic jogging and light execises, yogasana & pranayama).

Health-care costs are growing across the globe. India abolished product patents and instead issued process patents back in the 70s so it could produce necessary drugs at affordable prices for its own population. Today it's producing generic drugs for the entire developing world. But more than modern drugs and well-equipped clinics, we need health awareness at greater levels so we can prevent diseases, even cure some, and be our own doctors.

The lesson is the same, faith and practice.